I want to marry someone willing to revert

Question:

Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

I am 20 years old and need to get married to a young guy, but he's non-Muslim, but he says that he is prepared to become Muslim, will pray 5 times a day, and also go on Hajj. I don't believe my parents will agree, as he's a terrible past. How can I know if he's meant for me personally? What if I do?

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

I hope this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.

Islam

"And Allah will love you and forgive your sins. Allah is Most-Forgiving, Very-Merciful." (Sura Aal Imran 3:31)

Please invite this young man to embrace Islam as soon as possible. I pray that Allah makes good on his Islam, even whether you get married him. With true practice of this din, please be aware that all his previous sins have been forgiven.

Marriage:

In short, once he's Muslim, then your marriage contract will be valid. But as you're young and haven't been married before, I strongly recommend that you marry him just with all the blessings of your parents. Young marriages tend to be better able to flourish with family support.

Please talk to your parents about the way you need to get married to this young guy, after he becomes Muslim. You're correct -- many parents are unhappy about their kid wanting to marry somebody with a bad past. But, once he becomes Muslim, then Allah forgives all of his bad deeds. The issue is whether your parents could. In reality, it is compulsory for you and for him to hide his previous sin, unless there's some type of outstanding debt he wants to pay.

Istikhara:

Please perform the Prayer of Guidance as many times as you want to, until you obtain clarity about how to proceed forward. Your parents softening towards him might be a favourable indication, whereas your parents being firm on denying his proposal may be a negative indication for you.

Preparation:

I encourage you to Browse Before You Tie The Knot and complete the Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriages course.

Please be aware that love is inadequate for a marriage to work. Marriage thrives as it's within a bedrock of shared values and a commitment to treat each other nicely, for Allah's sake.

Sensitive topic:

Please forgive me for my bluntness, but when that young guy has had past sexual relationships, so I suggest that he undergo a blood test performed to make sure that he doesn't have some sexually-transmitted ailments.

May Allah ease what's right for you and this young guy, on the planet and the next.

Allah Most High knows best.

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