9 Practical Tips to Rebuild Our Ties of Kinship This Ramadan

Ask yourself, how a lot of your parents' brothers and sisters do you really understand very well? What about their kids? What about your grandparents and their family members?

“The word ‘Ar-Rahm’ (womb) derives its name from Ar-Rahman (i.e., one of the names of Allah) and Allah said: ‘I will keep good relation with the one who will keep good relation with you, (womb i.e. Kith and Kin) and sever the relation with him who will sever the relation with you, (womb, i.e. Kith and Kin)” [Bukhari].

Therefore this Ramadan, let's resolve to restart our ties of kinship and overcome the many obstacles we face if we would like to handle this matter. Before I talk with you a practical action plan, '' I only want us to remember one major thing:

I am aware that each household has its own issues/problems with specific relatives/family associates, but this shouldn't be a barrier for people to speak together. Understand why you are joining the ties of kinship, you are doing it for Allah سبحانه و تعالى and according to the hadith above, you are doing it to maintain good relation with Allah سبحانه و تعالى. Also, remember that the hadith of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ where he explained:

“Al-Wasil is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives, but Al-Wasil is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who had severed the bond of kinship with him” [Bukhari].

Below is a practical action plan to implement this Fantastic virtue in your life:

1. Find out who your relatives are

This is a clear first-step, but a lot of men and women skip it from embarrassment of admitting they don't understand each of their relatives. Have a sit-down along with your parents and ask them in their brothers/sisters/uncles/aunts, etc.. Draw a family tree and maintain an electronic copy in your own personal computer or on paper.

2. Find out their contact details

Whether it’s a phone number, an e-mail address, Facebook profile, MSN messenger, Skype or Twitter ID! (trust me, you’ll be surprised!) Find out all your relatives’ contact details and update your address book accordingly. You’ll probably find it easier to get this information through your parents but you can also try with cousins, uncles and aunts.

3. Get in touch

If your loved ones are utilizing some of these online social programs, get in contact with them online using a easy salam. I am sure they will be pleasantly surprised to hear from you (who doesn't prefer to meet someone on the internet they really relate to?!) . If a fantastic old telephone call is the only way to get in contact with them and if you do not understand them really well, instead of creating a cold telephone call, begin breaking up the ice by simply sending them regular text messages to their cell phones end along with your name and possibly a"son of so and so" or"daughter of so and so" so that they could recognize you. After a time, give them a call (either together with your parents about to alleviate the introduction) or in your and ask regarding your'text messages';-RRB-. There are many different methods of'breaking the ice' this is merely an example.

4. Interview the gran-grans

I will never forget a meeting my sister had with my grandfather couple of years until he passed away. This is a moving interview regarding his life story and one which our whole family cherishes. There is so much wisdom, expertise, courses which may be learnt from our elders. Just sit together, ask them any questions and media record. It's not necessary to make it appropriate, simply sit and listento.

5. Visit/invite for iftar

If your relatives are in the same city, you should invite each other to iftar. If parents aren’t keen because of issues between relatives, try to do it amongst the ‘youngsters’ or the ‘cousins’. Then at the iftar you can discuss various ways to resolve family feuds and stay in touch with the family.

6. Set up internet/video chat

The next time you see'back home', the household room, along with your grandparents home, take with you one of the most recent electronic notebooks with front facing video camera along with Skype (that they are comparatively cheap and fairly robust). Discover how you can set up net (ideally wireless) to your loved ones there and teach them the basic steps of creating Skype calls/video calls. As soon as they figure out it, overlook long distance calls, Skype are the next thing in the village!

7. Spend charity/zakat on them

Unfortunately, nowadays lots of Muslims have forgotten about spending charity/zakat in their bad relatives and household members. I am not positive whether it's humiliation or'panic' the comparative may begin'relying' on us to get their well-being or can it be our laziness and over-reliance on global charity organisations to provide our Zakat and Sadaqah. Whatever it is, we've got no excuse. Especially if we have clear directions from Allah (glorified and exalted be He) our charities/Zakat ought to be to our relatives in addition to the poor and destitute in different areas of earth. Actually, scholars emphasize that we need to prioritize our charities/socket therefore that it goes to people nearest to us then to the broader Muslim community. There are ways of doing so almost, such as giving your sadaqah into the bad relative through a different member of the household who is more older, or you may host one of your relatives' BIG expenses, e.g. their kid's schooling or a medical surgery, etc..

8. Be the focal point for your family

If you employ a number of the information above, you are soon going to be THE focal point for household ties/meetings for your loved ones. Thankfully take this obligation and attempt to organize several activities for your loved ones, e.g. arranging household excursions, draw family tree afternoon, household fundraising such as an Islamic job, e.g. mosque/orphanage, etc..

9. Resolve old issues once and for all

After things begin'heating up' between relatives and also you're able to see an chance to resolve old problems, attempt to solve them officially, ideally via a senior associate. Attempt to do this Ramadan! Individuals are going to be delighted to forget/forgive through Ramadan/Eid and restart their connections once more on the grounds of love, mercy and Ihsaan In sha Allah.

I hope that the above mentioned steps give us a sensible road map to our ties of kinship. Don't allow shaytaan nor our hectic lifestyles take this away merit from us. There is so much advantage from maintaining ties of kinship, it is sufficient that Allah سبحانه و تعالى has promised to maintain good relations with people who maintain good relations with their relatives.

May Allah سبحانه و تعالى make us of those who assert their ties of kinship. Ameen.

About the Author:

Mohammed Faris is an international coach, author, and speaker who helps individuals and teams live the best versions of themselves - spiritually, physically, and socially. He’s the founder of The Productive Muslim Company and author of “The Productive Muslim: Where Faith Meets Productivity.

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